Christmas, Christmas time is here. Time for joy and time for cheer. I still want a hula hoop.
Believe it or not, I do enjoy the holiday season, if only for the gifts, time off from work and oh yeah, the family bonding shit. Thankfully, frontline warriors like Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson were able to save Christmas 2005 from all those godless pinko commie faggot pro-choice ACLU feminazis out to destroy America. Every time you say "happy holidays" instead of "merry Christmas," an angel dies in heaven. It's true.
So, paraphrasing the great theological scholar Krusty the Clown, have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet and a solemn, dignified Ramadan.