The Ice Storm

The forecasters predicted a Class-A Winter Killstorm and it seems to have been accurate. Fortunately for me, I work in an industry that doesn't shut down or cancel work in these circumstances. In fact, I usually have to work harder than normal. Such is life.

So this morning as I left for work at 3:30 a.m., I found myself wondering about many, many life decisions and how I ended up in this predicament. I remembered that my neighbor Joe, the same one who left a polite note on my car (addressed to "Jeff") complaining about the noise from a mini-rave that got out of hand a few weeks ago, had asked me if I would help him shovel the driveway. "Sure," I told him, not out of any sense neighborly duty but more to get him off my back. That was before I knew I'd be going in to work during the wee small hours. So I left a note on HIS car this morning, explaining my situation. I hope he understands but I don't really care if he doesn't.

Back to me: Life is full of peaks and valleys. A few recent peaks have turned into valleys. I'm handling them much better than I would have thought I could. Yay me. But I'm still indescribably bummed. Such is life. The shitty weather plays a role, but I can't blame it all on Old Man Winter.

I left work mid-afternoon. I needed to go home and pick up some clothes because I'm staying in a hotel on the company's dime and I have to be at work at 4 a.m. tomorrow. No point in risking life and limb for a job that I like but don't love.

I wonder about all the missed connections, what might have been, what ought to have been, what should have been. I wonder how I ended up like this.

I did the dishes, in the sink. I have a dishwasher but it's wasteful to run it unless it's full. I admire all the plates and cutlery and cookware I didn't used to have. Then I remember why I didn't have them. Somebody called it laziness but it was always convenience. And now I'm inconvenienced.

What to pack? Who cares? It's going to be a boring night, but I know I will be unable to sleep. And then I will be exhausted at work. Also, they're saying the ice could snap power lines, which means I could be without electricity. The hits keep coming.

I need to make something happen.

Happy New Year.